I started listening to Angie’s trainings last fall on Facebook in her Connected Parents with Angie Facebook group. As I listened to her talk about life as an adoptive parent of children with trauma, I remember thinking, "Yes, yes, yes, yes. This was me!!"

I was being screamed at for hours every night. Every morning was a battle to get my daughter out of bed to go to school. I felt like I was putting every single second of my time at home into my little girl who in one way or another was demanding my attention not in very good ways.

 

I have 5 kids and they all need me, and I felt like I was not giving them anything that they needed.

I was so frustrated with behavior, therapy, and not knowing how do I connect, how do I understand, what was I doing wrong. I was doing all the “things.” We have done therapy, we have done attachment therapy, we had created one on one time together, we were present, we were doing all the things that we were told to do and we were reaching out for more! Anything. Anything that was going to bring peace to our home.

 

This was me but this is not who I wanted to be, it was not how I wanted my home to feel, it was not how I wanted any of my kids or my husband to feel. 

 

One evening at dinner my daughter was screaming at me across the table and my 17 year old son looked at her and with all he had in him to hold it together he said, “why are you yelling at my Mom?”

 

That was it. Something had to change and it needed to happen fairly quickly.

One night Angie talked about feeling like a victim in my own home, and I was thinking what in the world have I done, I knew I needed her and at that point I knew my whole family needed her because we were all struggling more than I even realized. I needed someone that had been there. I needed to feel validated because man, was I feeling guilty for even feeling that let alone thinking that of this beautiful child that I had made a lifelong commitment to. I needed to make connections with my other kids who were obviously getting angry and feeling very much left out of life. I was completely exhausted and at a loss. I worried that my older bio kids would leave and never come back. I am serious when I say that. It scared me and weighed very heavily on me.

 

During this time, Angie had reached out to me a few times. When she did it was like she knew I was having a horrible week. She genuinely wanted to help me. I said the same thing over and over again. I just wanted peace in my house. I wanted everyone in my house happy and healthy. I hated that we did not have peace and I knew that I was holding on by a thread.

That’s when I reached out to Angie. That call has changed me.

 

I had my first zoom meeting with her in April 2023. Angie’s training have taught me so much about myself, my husband and my kids. I show up for them so differently.

 

It’s not always easy or perfect in any way but it is better. My home is so much more calm and peaceful. We made progress so quickly because I started imagining who I wanted to be and what I wanted life to look like and I showed up for everyone, including myself as that mom, that wife, that friend and that woman. I have started to form better habits, I have my own morning routine, I have learned to get quiet and listen to myself without any noise from the outside world.

 

I’ve made it ok to parent without society’s input. My kids all need different things and nobody knows that better than me. I have become so much more confident in myself. I’m certainly not perfect and I will never be, but I don’t beat myself up about anything.

 

Angie checks in mid week between our appointments and always finds time when I need to run a situation past her or tell her I’ve messed up. I never feel judged or disappointed in myself. She helps me work through whatever it is and reminds me not to beat myself up, it’s ok. Try again. Keep moving forward. She doesn’t give up and has given me a completely different outlook on what my home can look like.

 

I’ve shared so much of this with my young adult children and I can see them thinking about some of this. That same 17 year old has always said he was going to college and he came to me and said, “Mom, I don’t know if that’s what I want to do.” For the first time in probably a year he was talking to me about his future. My heart exploded.

 

I’m thankful I made that call. I am so much more connected to all of the people that I love.

 

I am forever grateful!